27 years of earth life

Most gals feel shy about their age.

For me, it's just a natural process. I always hold this belief that no matter which stage of life I am at, I must never have regrets.

This year flew, flew over my whole year worth of youth. The plane is work. I couldn't help but wonder, what have I exchanged it for? Lots of hard work, sacrificed friends and family time and most importantly, the time I have for myself.

I did pick up Japanese again but can't hang on. Happiest of all, piano lessons. But I feel that I am losing myself at such a fast speed that soon, someone else will be the ruler of my life.

If i had accidentially gained the recognition of my boss, it wasn't my intention. I have never meant to work hard for recognition and perserve with long, selfless working hours. When I reach the end of the road. I never wish to score distinction for work.

The plane, work, has disturbed me alot. Cos its speed is too fast for me to see myself in the mirror. Too high for me to enjoy the grasses and small flowers. Too hectic that makes me sad that I have lost so much during the year. Will I still have time to catch up? Catch up with my life?

Especially with God?

I hate asking myself, where is the real me. Cos there, it's here, right here but I have chose to ignore it. I found the real me but no time to spend with myself. I want to get off this plane, cos I hate to see nice people getting sick on it. If there is a final, 3 shall be it and not more. unless the plane reduces its speed.

A Grand New Year

Apparently I did not aged gracefully for the past month.

I was falling and tripping, tripping and falling. Feeling bruised, miserable and helpless all this while.

I must be thankful for the my true friends who remained so patient with me when I kept saying no to their dinner dates. Thankful to my family's understanding when I reached home, not willing to say a word more. Thankful for my darling who listens to my woes, be by my side, sacrificed his sleep to bring me to the doc in the middle of the night and enduring my mood swings.

Most and greatest thanks to Our Lord who remained so faithful to me all these while. Who still keeps by my side even though I feel as if I am clinging onto the the last strand of connections with him.

The past month has been an extremely hard lesson and I have yet to pass the test yet. But I think I have gotten the right answer.

"Be still and know that I am God" --- always focus my eyes on him

I'm joyful to celebrate Mass with him today, especially when the start of the new liturgical year. Joyful to find joy because there is God with us.

The world seems to be going through another big turmoil now and I pray hard that we never forget the constant and everlasting joy when we have God with us, no matter how hard life seems to be for this brand new year.

Age gracefully

People grow old, an inevitable fact.

Some fear the aging process while others are indifference to it.

I want to take aging gracefully.
So that I become old but wiser.
I might have winkles but more smiles.
I can have less time but more patience.

However, as I aged, I see more challenges in front me.
I am no longer the young adult but the real adult.
I am expected to be matured.
I am expect to know what I should and should not do.
I am expected to conceal how I really feel and behave the right way.

I am having growing pains, at 26, unexpectedly cos i thought you only have these when you are 16.

I pray to Our Lord, for his guidance to keep me on his path cos I knew that I have strayed from it.


"Do not let yourselves get tired from doing good. If we do not give up, we will get what is coming to us at the right time." -Galatians 6:9

God answers in his own time

When the future looks so bleak and the road is so tough.

When my whole well being is giving way and turning me into a monster I don't even recognise.

When I am helpless and I prayed.

And He answered yet I doubted and questioned.

I always remembered the story of the footprints, whereby God not only stays by your side but carries you during the most difficult times.

This is definitely not the most difficult time.

In his time, He answers, maybe not in a way I asked for but surely the best for me.

Thank You Lord :)

Sewing Lesson

It's not my first sewing lesson, thanks to the Home Economics classes we had during our Secondary School days.

After more than 10 years, I am picking up the 'driving skills' to step on the 'accelerator pedal' on the sewing machine.

Felt relatively lost initially, as my 'teacher' explains the measurements, the 'engineering' of drawing the paper patterns for the skirt, finally to cutting the cloth and sewing the sides. As the prospect of getting a skirt sew gets more visual and tangible, the excitement comes in. I wished I had the whole day to finish up the skirt at one go.

Of course all skills need time to polish up. I had an enjoyable lesson today and with the homework to go back and draw another paper pattern out on my own.

So much to say, I suppose nothing beats the sneak preview of my first skirt in progress...

Great Expectations

not on the book written by Charles Dickens (although I have attempted to read this book once and i can't remember whether I have finished it already or not)

Somehow we are bought up in a society with expectations built on us. From school to society, many of us struggle to keep up with the expectations from others around us. From teachers, parents, employees and finally to ourselves.

Isn't it weird that once we hoped that others don't expect so much from us, by the time we are independent, we start setting our own expectations on ourselves.

Nothing wrong...

Until when your own expectations causes you stress, unrest and even frustrations.

Is that the real life that we should be having?

If a simpler life brings you joy and closer to God, which is the real life that you should be having?

Expect lesser and you will receive more.

If rationality draws up my life, then imagination shall colour it

Isn't it so much easier in life if we just follow the set of rules which are deemed as truth because they can be justify by some scientific method and we will never go wrong?

Eg. the road is 1Km long because we can take a ruler to measure it. Hence it's quite a short distance to be covered?

How about someone telling you about breathing with your whole body using mediation? Opps... How can the body breathe when there is no noses all around it? Yes... it will... till u experienced it.

How about an adult telling the kids that there are Santa Claus?

Rational people replies: Yes.. you find lots in shopping centres.

Imaginative people tells you that they come through the chimneys on flying sledges pulled by reindeer. Ermm... isn't it a bit too hot to have Santa clothed in winter wear to be flying around in non-air conditioned flying transportation?

OKie the latter sounds more unbelievable and ridiculous but is life all about rationality?

I agree that we do need to live by certain rules of rationality, like it will be ridiculous to drink through your nose because your poor tongue and throat will dry up.

Come on, agree with me, if everything has to be so rational, how boring will this world be. Where are we going to find our Mickey Mouse, how are we going to expect surprises on Christmas morning. How do we find the colours in our life?

Shall we just let go at times and let imagination colours our life.... YO HOOO....

So I shall still continue to wait for the first frogs to appear from your mouth after you have eaten the frog's egg (sago).